


TLC

by miceenscene



Series: Shakarian - A Descent into Madness [20]
Category: Mass Effect Trilogy
Genre: F/M, First Time, Fluff and Smut, Mass Effect 2, Omega 4 relay, Smut
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-11-07
Updated: 2019-11-07
Packaged: 2021-01-24 23:24:46
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 8,164
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21346504
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/miceenscene/pseuds/miceenscene
Summary: Sometimes even the toughest, most hardened soldier needs a little tender, loving care. A canon compliant, while still being a little original, take on the night before Omega-4.(aka, Garrus catches feelings because of course he does. Dummy dum thought he could just sleep with the coolest woman in the universe and come out the other side exactly the same?? Oh buddy... you got a big storm coming.)
Relationships: Female Shepard & Garrus Vakarian, Female Shepard/Garrus Vakarian
Series: Shakarian - A Descent into Madness [20]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1246385
Comments: 25
Kudos: 349





	TLC

**Author's Note:**

> It's a truth universally acknowledged that any writer in possession of Shakarian feels must provide their own take on the Omega-4 relay night. So here's mine. -K

“ _ Whoa, _ consider me seduced, smooth talker.” 

Sarcasm dripped off Shepard’s every syllable as she grinned. They were often sarcastic with each other, it was the shared native tongue of their friendship. Any other time it might have been enough to get him to laugh and relax--that’s probably why she’d said it. But this time, all it did was make Garrus stand up all the more straighter, mandibles pulling tight to his face. He was so out of his depth here, so very close to ruining this beyond repair. 

“Now shut up and stop worrying,” she continued, turning off the music he’d spent hours trying to select. When she turned back to him there was that mischievous glint in her eye, the same one she had when she first proposed this crazy idea. He liked that glint, as much as it scared him.

“I just--I… I’ve seen so many things go wrong, Shepard.” What was he doing? Did he authorize words being said? Surely his brain had to give permission before his mandibles just started flapping and spouting things. “My work at C-Sec, what happened with Sidonis…”  _ This _ was his new seduction tactic? This?? Unparalleled, brutal, ugly honesty? As much as every consecutive word out of his mouth left him burning with shame, he couldn’t stop himself if he tried. “I want something to go right. Just once. Just--”

Finally, Shepard stopped him. She reached up and ran her hand over the injured side of his face, her palm gentle across the bandage. She didn’t speak, simply tipped her forehead towards him, and for a moment he could relax slightly. This was familiar territory to him. Resting his forehead on hers, he let his eyes drift shut for a moment. Okay, just take a deep breath and try again. Perhaps try that kissing thing humans liked so much, it didn’t seem so terribly hard in his research.

When his eyes opened again, he found himself staring into her large green eyes and all bravado immediately crumbled. Oh, spirits, he was a  _ mess.  _ Could she tell? Of course she could, she was Shepard. The better question was, did she mind?

“Do you trust me?” she asked softly.

“Absolutely,” he replied, confident in the answer. About the only thing he was confident in at the moment.

She stepped back, a gentle smile hiding in her eyes and she took his hand. It was in that moment that Garrus realized he’d never touched Shepard outside of combat before. He’d grabbed her to haul her out of certain danger or to playfully land a punch on her arm after a job well done. But never unarmored, never unobserved. Great, as if he needed more things to add to his already unsteady nerves.

She led him down the few short steps deeper into her cabin and admittedly his apprehension did ratchet up a few more notches when he realized she was heading to the bed. This is what he was here for, right? Why was he so nervous? This was not his first time with a woman.  _ So stop acting like it. _

She sat on the edge of the bed and pulled him down until he was sitting next to her. Okay, he could do this. But before he could decide on a direction of attack to attempt that kiss again, she’d scooted back. Shepard tugged him along with her till they were both lying down across the bed. She tucked a few pillows around him before taking him into her arms, tucking his head against her neck. Every touch, every point of contact was completely novel and he was very aware of all of them.

“Comfortable?” she asked. From how his forehead was pressed against her, he could feel the slight vibrations in her throat as she said the word. 

“Yeah,” he replied, a little surprised at how true the answer was. She must have done research of her own, she’d tucked the pillows into precisely the right spots for this bed to work for him. He only got more comfortable as one of her hands started a leisurely path up and down his neck. The action was deeply soothing and before too long his eyes shut again, earlier apprehensions taking a step back for the moment. Shepard was soft, and delightfully warm, like some sort of self-heating pillow. A pillow that smelled like floral soap and ozone and some of his favorite memories.

He decided to lean into this odd turn for the evening and scooted a little closer, wrapping his arms around her torso. A few blunted talons ran in a small circle between her shoulder blades. She hummed in response, before turning her head to rest her cheek on top of his head. This was nice. Very nice. If he let himself, he could absolutely drift off to sleep like this. But he still had some lingering questions.

“You know…” he said after a few minutes in the restful quiet. “When you proposed this whole blowing off steam thing… this isn’t really what I pictured.”

She chuckled silently. He only knew from the way her muscles slightly contracted and the soft puff of air across his fringe.

“We can get to that eventually,” she replied just loud enough for him to hear. “I hope we do, but I just…” She sighed and then shifted, leaning up on an elbow till he could see her face again. She was haloed by stars, the blue glow from the fish tank cutting dark circles under her eyes. “I couldn’t shake the feeling that both of us… we’re not pent up, we’re worn out.” Her hand cupped his uninjured mandible, thumb lightly tracing along the colony markings for a few seconds. “Correct me if I’m wrong, Garrus.”

He shook his head, feeling keenly the bone deep ache that just never seemed to go away these days. “No, you’re right.” He leaned into the gentle touch, noticing and appreciating now how different the smooth skin of her palm felt along his plates.

“I know we’re both--” she smiled slightly. “Toughened soldiers, but I think everyone needs some… gentleness in their lives. At least every once in a while. Figured tonight would be a good place to find something… tender.” The smile dropped off her face, the circles under her eyes looking deeper than Garrus had ever seen them before. “Don’t know about you, but it’s been a long time since I’ve had anything close…”

Based on some instinct he wasn’t aware he possessed, his hand came up of its own accord to cup her cheek like she was his. Her eyes dropped shut and she pressed into his palm slightly. She looked about as worn down as he felt--how had he not noticed before? Perhaps she’d consciously kept up a strong front; she was their fearless leader after all.

“My second life has been a bit more strenuous than my first,” she admitted before opening her eyes. She searched his face for a moment. “And I know you’re carrying burdens that you haven’t told me about.”

He glanced away, a little bit ashamed to have been caught so thoroughly. “I--” He sighed, looking up at her. “I know you’re tired, Shepard. Figured you didn’t need one more thing to worry about.”

Her thumb stroked back and forth for a moment. “I’ll always worry about you, Garrus,” she murmured. “You mean so much to me… of course I worry about you.”

It was more than a little humbling to know that Commander Shepard, the first human Spectre, the savior of the Citadel, considered him worthy of her concern. Here she was trying to protect her entire race from being kidnapped off their colonies, and she worried about  _ him _ . He was pretty sure that he could work for the rest of his life and he’d never receive a higher honor than that.

“That makes two of us then.” His eyes searched her face, not liking just how absolutely exhausted she looked. “Y--you mean… a lot to me too, Shepard,” he admitted, his voice growing a little hoarse with an unforeseen tide of emotions washing in. “I missed you when you were… gone.”

She smiled a little. “I missed you too.”

Oh, this was it. One of those golden moments. He should kiss her. Now. Some nerves joined the swirling riptide of emotions he was trying to swim through, but at this point, what was one more?

Slowly, he slid his hand from her cheek to her neck and pulled her down towards him. The storm in his head was calmed by the tender regard in Shepard’s eyes. He tilted his head and cautiously brushed his mouth plates against her lips. A smile took up residence in her eyes for a moment before she leaned closer and kissed him for the first time.

It was… different. He wasn’t really sure what he was expecting, but he kind of expected something a little bit more dramatic than just a momentary press of her lips on his mouth. It wasn’t unpleasant, but he couldn’t say that he was affected in any way by it.

“You look disappointed,” Shepard said after she’d pulled away.

He hesitated. “Disappointed is the wrong word… I just… I don’t know--thought there would be more to it than that.”

“I thought it best to not throw you into the deep end and tell you to swim,” she replied with a sardonic grin.

He matched it, relaxed enough now to be able to properly respond to sarcasm. “Well, we don’t have all the time in the world, Shepard. If you’re planning to kiss me tonight, you better--” She stopped him mid sentence with a second kiss, quickly followed by a third, a fourth, and then he lost count.

_ Oh. _

_ This _ is what kissing was. It was intimate, active, and a little bit overwhelming. Her hands cupped his mandibles, the tip of her nose brushed against his face. Her lithe tongue stroked against his and he couldn’t repress a groan. Oh, that felt nice. This all felt  _ very _ nice, unique and enrapturing. When she pulled back several minutes later, he was visibly panting. He was gratified to see that she was similarly affected.

“How’s the water, Garrus?” she asked in a husky voice that nearly made him groan again. He did when she started pressing soft kisses along his uninjured mandible.

“F-fine,” he managed after focusing on the word for a few moments. “It’s fin--” The word trailed off into an unintelligible noise as Shepard backtracked her work with her tongue along the sensitive underside of his mandible. He heard her chuckle softly and he couldn’t quite blame her.

“Didn’t realize these were so sensitive,” she mused, running her fingers along his uninjured mandible. He purred at the contact, thoroughly enjoying the gentle caress. Though when she switched to touch the still bandaged side of his face, the purring stopped immediately. He couldn’t stop his previously relaxed muscles from automatically tensing. From the way they were pressed up against each other, Shepard had to notice. Dammit.

Her eyes lifted to his and though she stilled her hand, she didn’t break the contact. “Do you want me to stop?” she asked.

“No. I--” He reached up and cupped her hand, pulling it away from that side of his face. He pressed a quick kiss to her knuckles. “Sorry,” he breathed in lieu of finishing the sentence.

“Don’t be sorry.” She shook her head and then casually returned to their earlier position of cradling his head in her arms. It didn’t take as long for him to relax this time, the tips of Shepard’s fingers trailing up and down his neck again. “How much longer do you have to wear the bandage?” she whispered after a few minutes.

His eyes opened, though all he could see was Shepard’s collarbone. “I--I can take it off when I want to…” he admitted in a low voice. “But I haven’t… wanted to yet.” Couldn’t bring himself to was the better, more honest phrasing.

Shepard shifted so she could see his face. “May I?” she asked, gently.

If he said ‘no’, Garrus knew without a doubt that she would drop the topic and the evening would continue on anyway. But she’d shown him the cracks in her armor earlier, he found himself wanting to return the gesture. So he nodded. 

She reached over, moving steadily yet without any haste, and peeled the bandage away from his face. Garrus watched her expression carefully, scouring it for the disgust or repulsion that a deep nasty part of himself was sure would appear. She regarded him for several silent seconds, eyes sweeping across every part of his battered face. Then at the same cautious speed, she ran the backs of her fingers along the injured mandible.

“Does this hurt?” she asked as she started, eyes darting to his.

“No,” he replied, shaking his head a little.

“Can you feel it?”

“Yeah, but it’s not quite the same… guess some nerve damage was to be expected.” 

She hummed in reply and let her hand drop away as she reached the tip. Shepard hadn’t faltered, there was not one trace of anything but a calm regard on her face the entire time. And it was driving Garrus a little crazy.

He breathed a humorless laugh, needing to ease the tension somehow. “Like you said, slap some face paint on there and no one will--”

His sentence ended in a loud inhaled breath as Shepard had dropped her head to kiss the injured area. Again and again, she covered every part of his battered face with gentle kisses. Only once the entire side of his face had been carefully attended to did she pull back, leaving Garrus to stare up at her in something like awe.

Humor--he needed a joke, something to deflect, something to give him a chance to recoup his emotional equilibrium behind because if he didn’t he might say something terrifyingly honest right now.

“Figures you’d like men with scars,” he breathed.

She smiled slightly. “Perhaps,” she said, matching his tone. She bent down to caress the tip of her nose along the mandible, making him shiver. “But I think the real reason is... If you have scars like this, it means you  _ survived _ .” She curled tighter around him, protective despite their size difference. “I don’t know what I would have done if I found you on Omega only to have you bleed out in my arms the very same evening.”

It was the hitch in her voice that really got him. He could feel the unsteadiness of the breath inside her chest and it hurt. So he reached up and gripped her shoulder tightly.

“I’m okay. I survived,” he reminded her. “Scarred, but alive.”

She let out one humorless chuckle. “Doing better than me then.” Though her making jokes about her dying was definitely better than her still being dead, it stung--a reminder of one of his deepest regrets.

Once again, some unknown instinct took over and he lifted himself off the bed to switch their positions, him hovering over her now, keeping her safe and protected. He rested his forehead on hers, eyes closed. Just enough to remind himself that she was here now, alive once more.

“Sorry,” she whispered, making him meet her gaze again. There was genuine regret in her eyes, and perhaps a little embarrassment too.

“Don’t apologize.” He shook his head and loosed a long breath. “I’m so glad you’re alive, Shepard, I don’t care if you’re scarred inside or out.”

“You too.”

Garrus met her eyes, finding a newer deeper understanding in them than he’d ever seen before. The past few years may have irreparably damaged them both in many ways, but they were both still here and they were still a team.

He leaned down to caress her forehead with his, dipping down to brush her cheeks with both sides of his face now. Then he tilted his head to kiss her again, trying to copy her motions from earlier. She hummed--hopefully a good sign--and pulled him closer, a hand running up the back of his neck. After several extended, languid, thoroughly enjoyable minutes, he broke the kiss to remove his visor from his face.

“I was starting to wonder if that was permanently attached,” she teased as he leaned away from her to rest it on the nightstand.

“Not yet, but someday hopefully,” he replied with a grin. She laughed now and it was the best sound he’d heard in a long while. He just had to kiss her again because of it. And he had to kiss her again after that because the first one wasn’t long enough. And he had to kiss her again after that because--he stopped bothering with reasons and focused on Shepard. Focusing in on her every sigh, her every movement, he found himself ready to try a little more.

So he nibbled up her jaw as she tried to catch her breath.

“For someone missing lips, you’re--” She stopped as he ran the tip of his tongue over the shell of her ear, her previously relaxed grip on his arm suddenly tightened. “Damn…”

He chuckled a little and repeated the process, earning a soft gasp from her. “You were saying?” he rumbled directly into her ear. That got him a full body shudder.

“Figures you’d be a tease,” she said breathlessly, grabbing his neck and pulling him back down. They crashed into each other a little roughly, but quickly found their balance, tongues intertwining. He then nuzzled down the front of her throat, but ran into the collar of her uniform before he got very far. Before he could ask, Shepard was already untucking it from her pants and starting to pull it up.

“Please, allow me.” He covered her hands with his and continued the task, baring her torso and more of her skin than he’d ever seen before. She didn’t give him a moment to study her as she was already sitting up, hands reaching for him, though she stopped before she made contact.

“How on earth do you get that off?” she asked, looking severely at his shirt. He chuckled and quickly did away with the piece of offending clothing. Though she was still frowning when he turned back to her. “Seems unnecessarily complicated,” she muttered, moving closer to him and running her hands up his now bare carapace.

He purred at the contact, smoothing his own hands across the expanse of her silky skin. “Speaking of unnecessarily complicated.” He ran a finger under the harness--no, bra. It was called a bra--across her middle. She shivered a little again, making him smirk.

She was smiling when she leaned back and pulled the bra away after fiddling behind her for a moment. “Better?” she asked, an eyebrow raised cheekily. 

He pulled her into his arms, onto his lap, and kissed her again. His hands smoothed up her sides and back, pulling her flush against him. “Much.”

For a while, there were no words as they both just touched each other, mapping the previously unknown landscapes with gentle caresses and soft kisses. The only sound to fill the space was an occasional sigh or a low breath. Garrus quickly discovered that the feeling of nuzzling his face into the crook of Shepard’s neck to be deeply soothing and the sound she made when he ran his tongue up to her ear to be deeply arousing. But even more so than her sounds was the way she kept tracing his colony markings across his carapace.

“I never knew there were more than just your face,” she said, tracing down the widest stripe in the center. 

“I suppose you wouldn’t if you’d never seen a naked turian before.”

Her first finger followed the stripe all the way down to where it disappeared into his pants. “Does it go all the way down?” she asked, a teasing yet sultry tone in her voice.

He chuckled. “You’ll have to find that out for yourself,” he replied, matching her tone.

She tutted. “And here I thought I was past my men with tattoos phase.”

“Thank the Spirits for that,” he said, just to make her laugh. Which it did.

The pace they’d set was so wildly different from any of his previous experiences, where it seemed to be almost a race to reach the inevitable conclusion. This was a leisurely stroll, one so relaxed he almost didn’t care if they reached their final destination because the journey was so peaceful and pleasant.

“So how much research did you actually do?” she asked in a quiet voice, her hands skirting down to his waist.

“Enough to be nervous.” His subvocals hummed as she chuckled quietly and caressed a slow pattern over the exposed skin. “Did a few extranet searches. Read Mordin’s pamphlets, which I see you did too.”

She hummed and smiled, pairing her magnificent work on his waist with some slow kisses up his neck. He found the next few sentences to be a little more difficult to put together.

“And I… I specifically did not watch the videos Joker sent me.” 

“Wise choice,” she breathed against his skin which was oddly effective for him. 

“Though…” Garrus paused, pulling back a little. “I’m just now wondering how he knew to send them to me at all.”

“Mordin probably.” Shepard shrugged.

“That doesn’t make me feel better.”

She laughed again, and it was nearly enough to make him forget the issue entirely. Still, he made a mental note to grill Mordin the next chance he got. 

But Shepard made a very eloquent argument for ignoring everything that wasn’t her by pressing up against him and kissing him so thoroughly he forgot what else he was thinking about. This kissing was still very foreign, but she was quickly making it a favorite activity. 

Though he’d skimmed them a few times, he’d largely avoided her breasts out of caution more than anything else. Maybe it was the hunger in her kisses, but he felt bold enough to slide a hand up her stomach to cup the sensitive flesh. Immediately, she hummed and arched her back to press more against his palm. Alright, he could work with this. 

Mordin’s pamphlet had spoken at length about the human female’s breasts, apparently they were a favorite recreational area for humans. But what it had failed to mention was all the delightful sounds Shepard made at even the slightest movements. It also didn’t remark upon the way her skin formed little bumps and she shivered, breaking off their kiss to bite her lip and fall back into his arms, completely at his mercy. Oh, this was intoxicating. He couldn’t tear his eyes away from her face as she relaxed, chest heaving with heavy breaths.

“Honestly,” she started, her voice low and whispery. “I wondered if you’d even bother with--” The sentence ended with an inhaled breath as he circled a thumb over her nipple. A look that could only be described as blissful spread across her face.

He pulled her back towards him, switching hands so he could touch his forehead to hers as he continued seeking out every last one of her delightful sounds. “Wasn’t sure how much I was going to myself,” he admitted as she whimpered a little. “But these noises you keep making are strong incentives. And they’re… enticingly squishy.”

She paused, leaning back a little to give him a strange look. “Did you just call me enticingly squishy?”

“No, I called your breasts enticingly squishy. Which they are.” He emphasized his point by squeezing one lightly. Turian bodies didn’t have this much give to them, but he was really beginning to appreciate her softer sides.

She leaned back against him, hands lazily tracing the contours of his carapace. “Supportive waist, enticingly squishy--you sure know how to make a woman swoon, Vakarian.”

He chuckled. “You’re half-naked in bed, I don’t really see how I could be doing much better.”

“Fair point.”

He kissed her forehead, letting his hands slip back down her torso. Though he knew it wouldn’t be quite the same for her, he couldn’t help but caress her waist for a few moments. Supportive or not, he’d long since admired it. Blame the hours upon hours he’d spent at her six. 

Then one hand drifted a bit lower to brush up along her thigh, angling with obvious intent. She was still wearing pants, so every movement was barricaded by a few layers of maddening fabric. But she still moaned into their kiss as he dragged a finger across her center.

“Damn, Garrus,” she said, breathlessly. “You gotta catch up.”

Her hands reached for his waist again, but he caught her wrists before she made contact. He pushed them into the bed behind her, making her lean back and her core muscles clench to support her upper half.  _ Oh _ . He ran a palm over the shapely musculature, admiring her construction and definition for a moment before replying.

“Between the two of us, only  _ you _ can go multiple rounds, which frankly sounds like something pornography made up.”

She chuckled, but didn’t move from where he’d placed her. “I can assure you it’s not.”

His eyes lifted away from the jut of her hip bones to match her calmly challenging gaze. “Well, now that I have to see.”

A grin lifted a corner of her mouth. “Is that a promise?”

“Oh, you know it is,” he said, shifting to lean over her and press her back into the bed. She held strong for a few seconds, but eventually the angle became too steep and she dropped back onto the mattress with a smile.

“Big words,” she teased as he fiddled with the closure on the front of her pants. It was obviously made for someone with both smaller fingers and more of them, he grumbled internally. He got the button undone but was having trouble picking up the very,  _ very _ small tab for the zipper. 

“Do you doubt me?” he retorted, glancing up at her.

“Never.”

Garrus paused his attempts to look up at her, unexpectedly touched by her affirmation. He kissed her, tenderly. Never one for words in big moments, he tried to put as heartfelt a response as he could in the kiss. By the tender look in her eyes when he sat back, he counted it a successful attempt. If only he could be so lucky with her pants.

“Want some help?” she offered after a few more seconds of struggle.

“Please.”

Shepard effortlessly undid the zipper and let him shimmy them off of her, tossing them carelessly. Though as he looked at her, all of her now, he paused.

“The pamphlets said humans wear smaller clothes under their clothes.”

She smiled at him, her eyes smoldering. “Do you want the sexy explanation or the honest one?”

“Honest,” he said, taking her hands to pull her up to sitting.

“I didn’t put any on tonight because I figured it would just get in the way.” She shivered as he trailed a talon down the middle of her torso, slowing as it approached its destination.

He raised a brow plate. “And the sexy explanation?”

“I never wear underwear. Every time we’re out on the field, you at my six, I’m completely bare under my undersuit.”

It was a lie, and a pretty obvious one at that. But damn if the idea didn’t do unspeakable things to him. His subvocals purred in a very dark, luxuriating tone at the thought.

“Like that idea, huh?” she said, a smile in her voice. He nodded. “Me too.”

_ Spirits _ . He didn’t reply--couldn’t really--just shifted so he was sitting behind her, and pulled her back into his arms. The one hand that had been hovering at the fascinating little divot in the middle of her stomach now slid down. Her eyes drifted shut as his fingers ghosted across the delicate skin between her legs. Holy--she was already wet. He paused and swallowed  _ hard _ .

“I might…” he breathed, resting his forehead on her temple. “Need some instruction.”

Her eyes blinked open, a hand cupping his mandible momentarily before smoothing down his arm to cover to his hand. “Here,” she whispered. She guided his hand between her folds, showing him the way to bring her pleasure. Her muscles were already contracting and relaxing seemingly outside of her control as he took over from her.

With every careful movement, he studied her face, dreading accidentally harming her. However, it appeared that he was somehow achieving quite the opposite as she just became more and more blissful under his touch. Though after several minutes, her hand gripped his arm, making him freeze.

“Sor--” he started.

“You’re tense,” she murmured, rubbing her palm up and down his forearm. She gave him a concerned look. “Garrus, if you’re uncomfortable, we--”

“No, it’s not that.” He bumped his forehead against hers gently. “It’s not that, I promise. Just…” He pulled his hand away from her, flexing his fingers. “A little too aware of the precarious position you’re in.”

She squeezed his arm comfortingly. “You were doing fine…  _ more _ than fine.”

He smiled a little at that. “Can we try this another way?”

“What’d you have in mind?”

He answered her with a very thorough kiss, leaning into all the ways he could kiss her that a human never could. She practically melted in his arms and when he pulled back, a delightful pink tint had formed across the tops of her cheeks.

“How about that way?” he rumbled. 

She nodded, eyes gone wide, before she cleared her throat and sat up a little. “Y-yeah, I’d be amenable to that.”

Amenable was obviously putting it lightly. He grinned at her response. There was a little bit of rearranging and then he was placing fluttering kisses along her hips and up her thighs. This he was much more comfortable with. Tongues were a useful tool in foreplay when both parties came equipped with razor sharp fingernails.

“Do you need any instru--” her question transformed into a wordless moan as his tongue made sudden contact with her center. “ _ Fuck _ ,” she whispered when she caught her breath.

“I think I can manage,” he rumbled with a slight grin before returning to his work.

“Fi-fine.”

It took barely a minute before she was shuddering and babbling under his much more confident actions. He’d seen Shepard nearly drunk a few times, but mostly he only knew her as a very disciplined, controlled person. To see her start to fall apart in the absolute best way was fascinating. Her normally eloquent speech was reduced to half phrases and staccatoed declarations. The ones that his translator could parse were largely some sort of plea to a human deity or colorful swears that would put Jack to shame--either way, he counted it all as one of the more honest compliments he’d ever received. 

Spirits, though she was strong. He had to brace his arms over her hips and lean in with his body weight to keep her where he wanted her. Back on the SR1, she’d easily been able to keep up with him in the few times they’d sparred for fun--an impressive feat for a human. They hadn’t tried it since her resurrection, but he had a feeling that she’d hand his own ass to him on a platter if they ever did. A deep part of him revelled in that thought as she nearly lifted them both off the bed again.

“Garrus,” she managed in a strangled voice. Her heels were digging for some sort of leverage, but they would find none draped over his back as they were. She must be getting close. So he focused in further, making her chant his name in reverence. As if his ego needed any help.

And then very abruptly, she stopped. Her grip on his arms tightened and she curled in on herself as a long, full body shudder wracked her frame. Though she’d been very vocal leading up to this peak, she was completely silent as she crested. Seeking to elongate the moment for her, Garrus kept up his ministrations, though he was definitely distracted by this miraculous sight in front of him. As suddenly as she peaked, she crashed. She collapsed back on the bed, every muscle in her body limp, a slight sheen of moisture shimmering across her forehead and chest.  _ Wow _ . 

Carefully, he started to back away, but then her grip tightened again on his wrist. She tugged him towards her instead, not letting go till he was laying beside her and she was curled up to him. The less evolved part of his brain kept warning him that Shepard was dangerous right now. Turians typically didn’t take kindly to anyone bothering them after they finished. But Shepard was not a turian. Humans appeared to seek more tactile sensations even after the fact, if the way Shepard was practically draping herself over him was any indication. He certainly didn’t mind, she was radiating warmth right now and plus… well, it was Shepard. He’d welcome her at any distance.

A little worried that perhaps this was the wrong move, he wrapped an arm around her and smoothed a palm up and down her back. She hummed and cuddled even closer, not bothering to open her eyes. Alright, maybe it was the right move. He held her noticing all the small details he would have missed in any other scenario. The freckles on her face dotted every inch of her skin. Her hair smelled like some sort of flower he didn’t know the name of. The dip from her waist up to the swell of her hips was perhaps the most elegant curve he’d ever seen.

Several languid minutes passed in restful quiet before she opened her eyes again. That exhaustion and wear that he’d seen in her face earlier seemed to have disappeared. As she met his gaze, a very wide smile slowly spread across her lips, the brightest he’d seen since she’d died. Then she leaned up on an elbow to press a soft, sweet kiss to his cheek.

“Thank you,” she whispered, trailing her jaw along his uninjured mandible. 

He hummed and pressed his forehead to hers, just studying her eyes for a long moment. Despite the thoroughly enjoyable activity he’d just lead her through, he felt like he should be the one thanking her. Thank her for saving his neck on Omega, for showing him how to be a leader on the SR1, for breathing life back into his world from the moment he first met her. No wonder the galaxy had been so bleak the past two years, it was missing her.

She kissed him. Once, briefly, and then again, long and languorous, her tongue stroking against his own in a way that logically should not have been as arousing for him as it was. Every little thing about her, even things that flew directly in the face of what his evolution had primed him to prefer, really  _ really  _ worked for him for some reason.

“Ready for round two?” she asked, her voice smoky and full of promises.

“Spirits,  _ yes _ .” 

She chuckled a little, kissing his mandible and pulling him up to sitting. Her hands cupped his neck before smoothing around to the back of his head, fingers reaching up to brush across the unprotected skin beneath his fringe. She coupled the teasing motions with trailing her jaw along his mandibles, like a turian would with their own. She really had done her research. Though he definitely appreciated the gesture, he more wanted to kiss her again. So he caught her chin and kissed her, wrapping her in his arms to pull her onto his lap.

She slowly rocked her hips against his and with precious little other provocation, he was suddenly out of his sheath—restrained by his pants and more than ready for her. They both froze. She was probably surprised and he  _ certainly  _ was.

“You okay?” she breathed, sitting back and taking away the torturously wonderful pressure she was providing. His subvocals whined at the loss of contact.

“Yeah. Yeah, I’m fine.”  _ Little confused perhaps, but certainly able to keep _ —all thoughts stopped as Shepard slipped a hand between them.

“Oh.  _ Garrus _ ,” she whispered, running her fingertips over his length through the fabric of his trousers. 

“ _ Shepard, _ ” he replied in a strangled voice. His hips strained slightly to prolong the contact with her every movement.

“Everything I read made it seem like it would be a lot harder to get you to this point.” She sounded almost wondrous. If he wasn’t absolutely consumed with the feather light sensations on his most sensitive area, he’d probably laugh.

“It… it usually is,” he admitted.

She smiled. “Lucky me.”

His quip was cut off at the knees as she squeezed him slightly, and he really couldn’t have cared less about that fact.

“Shepard,  _ please _ .” Though she couldn’t hear it, he heard the absolutely desperate sounding keen in his subvocals. Spirits, she’d barely touched him and he already sounded absolutely ruined.

She pressed close, replacing her hand with her hips, and picking up the gentle rocking motion that had thoroughly damned him earlier. “Oh, you keep talking like that you’ll get me to two orgasms with no further help, Garrus,” she whispered directly into his ear.

He groaned, talons tearing into her sheets as he tried to maintain a level head. “Now who’s… the tease?” he accused in a voice more subvocals than words.

“You.” She smiled again, pressing a rather chaste kiss to his mouth. “Because I still don’t know how to get your pants off. So whenever you’re ready…”

He had moved her off his lap and was standing before she’d finished her sentence. He ripped off his pants faster than he ever had in his life, narrowly avoiding catching the fabric on a spur in his haste. She was definitely chuckling as she watched him from where she was relaxing on the bed.

“There’s no rush, Gare,” she reminded him, smiling widely as he knelt back on the bed. “I’m not going anywhere.”

“Please don’t,” he honestly pleaded, caressing her forehead with his and cupping her cheek.

“I promise. I’m staying right here.”

He was really going to do this. They were really going to do this. Honestly, he expected to be more nervous at this point, but perhaps it was the throbbing need that pushed most everything else out of the spotlight. Or perhaps it was just that it was Shepard he was going to do this with. He wasn’t really sure.

But before he could really find a proper starting spot, Shepard cupped his cheek and tilted his head to look at her again. “Thank you for being willing to try something gentle with me.”

He leaned into the touch, kissing her palm softly. “People might think you’re strange--coming to a turian for tenderness.”

She shook her head and smiled a touch. “They don’t know my turian.”

Garrus was absolutely stunned by the two realizations that suddenly hit him like a headshot. One. This wasn’t about blowing off steam for him. Of course it wasn’t. No wonder he’d been nervous. This was never purely physical no matter how hard he’d tried to pretend otherwise. This was the first step into something unknown by him, a territory he’d rarely ever ventured into before, let alone for someone as important to him as Shepard.

And two. This wasn’t about blowing off steam for her either. She had masterfully found the one pathway that would allow for them to both try moving their friendship to something more without making either of them uncomfortable. The perfect cover as they both tried to sort out whether this was something they actually wanted while seeing what it could be. However, it appeared that she’d already made her decision. So had he.

Of course, he knew that now of all times was probably not the best time to be making dramatic shifts in a long-standing friendship. Suicide missions were a strange back drop for a romantic declaration. Or perhaps this was the best time, because it was the only time they’d be guaranteed. Tomorrow--hell, one hour from now--was not certain. The present was what he had, so the present was what he worked with.

Garrus pressed his forehead to Shepard’s and carefully stepped over this threshold with her. Her eyes went wide and her grip tightened on his shoulders. He searched her face for any sign that this was uncomfortable, but she just held his gaze, never flinching or shying away, until he was completely submerged in her. 

And then she smiled. Oh, he was nearly positive that this wasn’t just blowing off steam for her before. But now he  _ needed _ to make certain because he was pretty sure that he just fell in love with her.

It was so very different than anything Garrus had ever experienced before--even setting every physical difference aside. It took him a bit to figure out precisely  _ what _ was so different but then, as Shepard dragged a terribly needy groan from him with only a whisper in his ear, he figured it out. He  _ trusted _ Shepard, like he’d never trusted any partner he’d ever had before. He didn’t have to focus on seeking his own ends, he knew that she would take care of him. Just like she knew he would take care of her.

The shared focus on each other turned into a wonderfully tantalizing feedback loop. Each of them working to make the other feel the best that they could, around and around, more and more, higher and higher. All too soon, and only because he never,  _ never _ wanted it to end, the tower started to wobble.

Shepard’s fingers were digging into his shoulders, her forehead pressed to his as she moved with him. A bead of sweat had formed in her temple, more gathering down the sinews of her neck, all tempting him to lick it away again. Her eyes were closed in concentration. 

“ _ Garrus _ ,” she huffed through gritted teeth. “I--”

“Let go. I’ve got you,” he promised, meaning it in every permutation of the phrase. Her eyes cracked open to meet his. “I’ve got you, Shepard.”

For the second time that evening, she succumbed, falling to pieces in his arms. But this time she pulled him down with her, euphoria striking them both at the same time. Garrus lost track of everything in the world that wasn’t Shepard, for in that moment none of it mattered. It was just her and him and the promise of the next breath.

Shepard’s arms were still wrapped around his neck, her forehead still pressed to his, as Garrus opened one eye and then the other. That blissful look was back on her face and he was certain his own didn’t look too far off. Spirits, when was the last time he felt this… happy? He wasn’t sure he could honestly answer. Certainly it had been years.

Habit made him immediately start to move away from her, but he stopped as her eyes opened and met his. A very honest and concerned expression momentarily appeared on her face as she started to pull him back down, but then it was like she caught up to herself and her arms dropped away. 

“Sorry,” she mumbled and started to sit up, avoiding his gaze now. But he caught her cheek, turning her face back to him, before pressing a soft kiss to her lips. Still kissing, he eased back down to lie next to her, an arm wrapped around her waist to hold her close.

“I thought… turians didn’t much go for touching afterwards,” she said in a quiet voice as he tucked her around him.

“You’re not turian.” As if to support his point, he ran his fingers through her hair, thoroughly enjoying the texture.

“But you’re a turian.”

“But a very bad one,” he purred, nuzzling against her neck.

Shepard chuckled a little and they settled into silence for a few minutes, just holding each other. Maybe it was because another turian would not be near so nice to hold for an extended period as Shepard was. She was much softer, warmer, and a perfect comforting weight. Besides… he’d never fallen in love with another turian before.

“Shepard,” he started before he really figured out how that sentence was going to end.

At his pause, she shifted so she was leaning up on an elbow and could see his face. It was much the way they had started the evening, just without clothes and on the other side of a very enjoyable hour and a few deep realizations.

“Garrus.” She matched his tone, a smile hinting in her eyes. It appeared she sensed his indecision as she stooped to caress his forehead with hers for a moment. “All those years honing a rhythm on the battlefield sure paid off, huh?”

He laughed a little. “That’s one way to put it.”

“Was it good for you?”

She sounded like she was honestly asking him. He laughed lightly. “You can’t already tell?” He combed the hair away from her face with his talons. “Yes.  _ Very _ . You?”

“Yeah… more than good enough that…” She studied his face for a long moment and then took in a deep breath. “Providing we survive the next twelve hours… would you ever want to--”

“Yes.”

She blinked at him and then a smile struck her face, lighting up her eyes. “You don’t know what I was going to say,” she teased, a laugh hiding in her words.

“Doesn’t matter. If you’re there, I want to be too.”

She quickly closed the minimal distance between them with a strong kiss, not heated with desire but forceful and blunt and exacting in a way that was so wholly Shepard it left him breathless all the same. Spirits, he wanted to be kissed that way for the rest of his life.

“Thank you, Garrus. For… for just being you.” She cupped his cheeks with her hands. “You’re… so important to me, you know that, right?”

By the pleading look in her eyes, he had a feeling that important hardly covered it. It certainly didn’t for him, but a suicide mission didn’t leave much time for finesse. So he squeezed her wrists and nodded. “You too.”

She nodded several times in a row. “So don’t do anything stupid. Be smart, be safe.”

Never looking away from her eyes, he slid a hand up her arm, up to her cheek. “Only if you promise the same.”

“I do,” she vowed with the utmost sincerity in her voice.

“Then I promise too.”

And they sealed it with a kiss, not near long enough in Garrus’ mind, but all they had time for as an alarm sounded from Shepard’s omnitool while they were still going. She groaned and silenced it without stopping the kiss. He would have smiled if it wouldn’t have ended the kiss anyway. However, a minute later, Shepard pulled away, regret written across her face.

“Guess that’s my signal,” he murmured, not moving a muscle from where he was tangled up with her.

“Mine too.”

Another few seconds passed, then they both sighed and unwound from each other. He put his clothes back on, securing the bandage across his face once again. There was a decidedly awkward moment as they both turned to look at each other. Maybe she felt it too, but to him the galaxy was a different place now than when he’d taken these off. 

Shepard grinned and rubbed the back of her neck. “Never did know what to say once the clothes were back on.”

Tension broken, he laughed once and stepped towards her to rest a hand on her shoulder. For a moment he looked down at her face, admiring the woman he’d chosen to follow twice now into certain death without hesitation. There wasn’t time, nor did he have the skill, to express everything he felt and saw when he looked at her. So he settled for, “I don’t have faith in much in this galaxy… but I have faith in you, Shepard. I think we’re gonna make it.”

Maybe he was imagining, or possibly projecting, but Garrus could have sworn that Shepard looked hopeful.

“We will,” she replied, squeezing his hand. She stepped towards him and rose up on her toes as he leaned down for a kiss good-bye, but not their last one if either of them had anything to say about it.

“See you downstairs?” he asked as he headed to the door.

“Right behind you.”

Garrus smiled at Shepard and then stepped into the elevator, feeling more rested than he had in years.

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks for reading!! Let me know your thoughts below! <3, Kaitlyn


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